The Fourth Window

Saying ALAS, at the end of a tiring day, thinking to myself "Maybe that is the curse of the modern world", I crawled into my bed.

Fighting sleep and sleeplessness at the same time, looking at my windows, I realize life has always given me 3 options to act on. - Past. Present. Future. 

Thinking about how I could have changed my past and what are my options for the future, also realizing the present is the most significant - sleeplessness won. 

In awe of the victory and defeat at the same time, I was playing with the three windows, the combinations always interesting for a curious mind and tiring for a weak heart.

What seemed like an interesting exercise, unconsciously synchronized the heart and the mind, now sleep won. 

Neither in awe of the victory or defeat, when I woke up, little did I realize that the fourth window was the strongest and was always open. 

THE SCENT OF A PATTAS (fire crackers)

As a child, when asked to write an essay on Diwali, the first point we all would write is "Diwali is the festival of lights, we burst a lot of crackers on Diwali". But now, having come quite far away from home, to a place where the city is always lit and pattas is a constrained commodity, we realize, Diwali is too much to be constrained.

On a recollected Diwali eve, you would come back home late-night with a superstar movie hangover at 1AM and amma would shout “oh, u remember this is your house? And tomorrow is Diwali, nyabhagam irukka? Y don’t u sleep at the cinema”, so loud that neighbours would mistake that for a ten thousand wala (writing is as ‘10000 wala’ didn’t sound right). But she is the one who wakes you up at 5AM, in such a soft voice that u would mistake it for lullaby. Then you get ready for the longest bath (famously known as the ganga-snanam) of the year, where one might even become a tone fairer. Then you would wear your new clothes, take the actual ten thousand wala and ….. then starts the competition. A never spoken about competition, where the house which collects the maximum pattas left-overs at its verandah is the winner of that Diwali. 

In between the competition, you would have 2 main hurdles. One is when you are forced to visit your uncles and auties to seek their blessing, ok wait, seek some more money that goes to the competition funding. Two been asked to distribute sweets to neighbours. This scene is interesting. What one is supposed to do: visit the neighbour and say “happy diwali aunty, sweets, amma told me pass this to you”, then she goes “happy diwali kanna, dress supera irukke (that’s a very good looking dress)” and she passes equal or more sweets that you should properly transfer to your mom. But how it actually goes, collect all the sweets boxes from home at once, go to all the houses, literally throw the boxes and press the door-bell so hard, making sure their diwali morning is ruined and go back to the competition.

At the half-time of the competition, you come home in a state where your new Diwali clothes looks like a cloth used to clean the car or much worse, ur amma gives u a look as if she doesn’t recognize you. That’s when you hear the magical words “SOAP pottu hand wash panniya”. The most sumptuous meal is served. It gives back all the drained energy and also re-energising you for the second half of the competition. There aren’t much hurdles in the afternoon except for the ‘opposite house thatha’ shouting “pothuma pattasu??”. 

After crossing all the hurdles, when you are declared as the winner, you visit your friends and relatives place. At this point it is a strict NO NO to vehicles, only walking because comparing your pattas leftovers with all the other houses in your area (turf) takes time, vehicles are too fast for that.

Diwali grows, you grow, you leave your turf to compete at higher levels, in search of better prospects, in search of better quality of life. 

But the moment never grows. The moment, when you buy two sets of dress because one is definitely gonna be burnt by the pattas. The moment, when you fight with your siblings because “it’s my turn”. The moment, when you depart with your pattas because you don’t want your house-maid’s son standing in a corner and watching you have all the fun doesnt sound right.The moment, when you become a little older and you don’t burst any of the pattas for moral values like (global warming and child labour) and finally say “kadaise pattasa? Naan vekkata?”.

The moment, when years later, you sit far away from home, where their definition of diwali and yours doesn’t match, thinking about the simpler competitions of life, you would probably smell the scent of pattas in the air and follow it to find an Indian family, who jus got done playing with the pattas and call you to click a group picture. There u say “okay, ready everybody, 1…2…3… PATTAAAAAAS”.

Hit Continue

There are lot of instances where the drive to quit had been greater than ever, but u still hit continue.

Remember the Fridays, when you got up in the morning and felt “oh, I am not going to work today” but still, hours later, you are either sipping a cup of coffee, discussing the ‘so-fars’ and the ‘way-forwards’ or staring at a machine and thinking “oh, I am not going to the bar tonight”, but in the evening you find yourself with a glass of fermented liquid in between loud music where only you could hear to yourself and say, “I am not gonna allow it to be another wasted weekend” and before you are drawing a checklist of things to do over the weekend in your mind, u r already in bed, looking at the clock and saying “bledy hell, its already Saturday”?

Remember the last days of school or work or last time you knew you ll be seeing somebody and you tell yourself “it’s not over here, we are gonna keep in touch” but as the time goes on, as you meet new friends, as you move to a new place, as you think ‘it takes to lose some self-respect’ to be the first one to initiate a conversation, as your ego overrides your innocence, as your brain gets busier and the mind gets duller, as the number of friends on social media are directly proportional to the global population increase, as your bank account get bigger, as you learn to be rude to people who are nice to you and as you think ‘it may be too late to say a hi’ to the person you wanted to stay in touch, realize that at some part of the world there is someone who wishes ‘I should have been on touch’?

Remember the times when you saw an accident on the road, wanted to help and still your car rose from 45 to 55, remember the times when you wanted to travel, find out ways about forgetting the past get inspired from people and still went ahead putting the same money in buying a costly phone on which you would be expecting a message from the past, remember the times when you decided to spend the weekend in an orphanage, old age home or an animal shelter and went ahead in postponing it for the next weekend, remember the times then you wanted to stand-up and talk against some of the superstition ideas or corrupt practices that you wouldn’t agree with but ended up being corrupted by your own superstition voice which said shut-up, remember the times when you wanted to sit idle and remember the times, where you should have hit continue?

Remember the last time when I said “There are lots of instances where the drive to quit had been greater than ever, but u still hit ‘continue’” and realized to remember that I was talking about instances where the drive to hit continue has been greater, you still hit quit?

Experience

Apologies for writing something new in the middle of a intended series of articles on my Himalayas Trip.

Everything began when I just finished my schooling (class12). I had to choose an engineering college. Ya, the only choice I had (or knew) about 'what to study next' was engineering. I had to choose between a deemed university in Thanjavur, an autonomous university in Coimbatore and a very strict college in Chennai (where my parents lived, where my home is) that was affiliated to Anna University.

I knew that graduating from a deemed university is not as valuable as one done with Anna University, was a huge rumour. Every course is a good one as long as one is interested in it and every college is good, as long you have some (even a few would do) good looking girls in the campus. So, since I had changed my room's light-bulbs a couple of times and used to remember electrician’s phone number by-heart, I thought I was interested in Electrical Engineering and realizing that good looking girls can be found in every corner of this spherical planet and facebook, I chose Thanjavur.

Being in a new place away from home was exciting, new friends, sharing wardrobes and tables with  room mates instead of my brother, the best dinner was maggi (Top Ramen was even better), boring weekends, super fast WiFi and a warden who will the mark attendance especially on the night when I decide to catch a movie or grab a couple of drinks with my buddies. Life was awesome. Got used to the new hostel life, which was new only for a couple of days. Fortnight trains back home during the first year, bunking a couple of classes during the second year, asking parents for extra money during the third year and attending only a couple of classes during the last year. College was Awesome.

After hardly working for 4 years and deep knowledge in Electrical Engineering (you definitely know in part I am being sarcastic), I got a job in a leading (leading as in half of the college would get placed here and the other half with the competitor) IT company. The best part of the job was the offer letter said “Working from Chennai”. Accepted the offer, packed my bags and headed straight home.

After sitting simply in the training program for 4 months, I was deployed to Mumbai. Had fun there,  ate vada pav and dhahi, met some good looking girls (wow, a sphere has corners too), had new job as Program Analyst and lot of money to spend the weekends sleeping. I had lot of fun. Staying away from home gave me a lot of experiences, I learnt a lot, my horizons got wider, the people I know were from varied backgrounds and I definitely had a good idea of what I wanted to become.

Now, after working for 3 years and having done none of the things I have mentioned above, I am in a foreign land studying in an International University, renting a house with a group of guys I met through facebook. I still know how vada pav tastes, I know a lot of people from varied backgrounds and I had lot of fun staying at home all the twenty odd years. I know however wide my horizons are, its still not enough. I know good idea is a myth and a good idea about what I wanted to become is the biggest of all.

Staying in hostel gives a new experience, undeniable. But for a good experience one need not stay in hostels or stay away from home, one needs to be aware. Everyday is a new experience, some-days we react and some-days we respond. 

Even these 3 weeks of staying away from home has been an experience, but staying home waiting for yours friends to come from Thanjavur during weekends and play beach cricket is great fun, exploring the same old city with a new set of friends is awesome and watching your parents grow old staying very close to them is beautiful. What if I don't have your experience, you don't have mine either and we are both happy.

Sar Pass – Himalayas: How it started

Got a call from a friend when I was about to hit the bed on a February night.

Conversation starts:

Friend: “Hey did u check out the Youth Hostel Association India (YHAI) National Trekking Expediture on Himalayas. I am going”. (All excited).

 Me: Ya? Super.

F: U should come too…

Me: Seri thukirvom (sure, we will pull it off). But now I am almost sleeping, tomorrow morning I will book.

F: awesome, it’s called the sar pass. The max height on the route is 13800ft. U cross a frozen river and then slide down. I have booked for June 3^rd….

Me: (with lot of other interesting information and me not in a state to process all of that at once because I was sleepy) tomorrow morning sure thing.

F: (since I attended the call when I was half asleep, u should have figured by now, it’s a she. so let’s call her S) don’t forget, bye.

and she hangs up.

NEXT MORNING...

TEXT message from S: dai, the slots for June 3 is booked. USELESS.

Understanding the demand, I ask 6 guys and sign up for the adventure, with reporting day on June 4^th. I get updates about the whole thing via S from blogs, news articles, websites, etc. My mind voice, it’s only march now and we have a time till June. Paathukalam da.

 “We are in April now, have u booked the tickets”? Another message from S. We book tickets from Chennai to Delhi, both ways flight (We are employed u see). The thought of not asking dad money for flight ticket because we are employed rings a bell. We are employed, two weeks of leave is impossible. First of all, am I eligible for that much leave?

I told my boss “I am going to Himalayas for a trek and I need leave for 2 weeks”, seriously I told my boss I was going for a Himalayan trek and there are bosses who approve it. After impressing the boss with some good work and few weeks of waiting, Leave approved.

Now we are on the last week of May. Making a checklist took me only a few seconds because the most important things were covered in the YHAI website and their specifications were shared by Ms.S.

Things to bring along with you:

1. Rucksack - if you have one, if not, don’t worry YHAI will provide u a good one.
2. CottonShirts – 3 on the trek. Done carry too many, ur pics will look better in that place even with a dirty shirt.
3. Cotton Pants or tracks. Jeans is also good
4. Sun Cap – 3 minimum.
5. Torch – don’t plan to buy this at the base camp.
6. Shoes - Can be bought in the base camp for 300Rs, but for good ones go to woodlands or Quechua.
7. Slippers – to walk around in the camps.
8. Socks – 4 cotton and 1 woolen. Woolen can be bought the base camp.
9. Enameled or Steel Mug / tumbler – if it can keep the tea/water warm for long and it not very heavy. Go for it.
10. Tiffin box – forget plates. Take tiffin boxes which has at least two partitions. Reserve the biggest for deserts.
11. Water purifying tablets – will be mentioned on the website but don’t spoil the water up there with these stupid tablets. Forget the purifying tablets.
12. Pen knife.
13. Dry fruits – Don’t eat everything on the first day. Believe me, u will be tempted to, but DON’T.
14. Shoes in-soles.
15. Sun glasses – black or brown. Strictly no blue.
16. Cold cream / Vaseline and Sun screen – SPF 70 or more.
17. Toilet Paper – Water will be available.
18. Light weight Towels (2) – it should dry easily.
19. Rain sheet – plastic sheet quality that can cover till knee. Don’t take heavy raincoats.
20. Jerkin/ Winter Jackets – preferably water resistive.
21. Medicines which you normally use at home.
22. If you want to contact somebody take a simple mobile (that can hold charge for a long time) with Airtel connection. We had people who bought 4 cell phones, so that they can talk full time. If u meet similar people, don’t tell them u have an Airtel connection.
23. Camera with extra battery – if your friends don’t have one.

After borrowing the shoes and the bag (Wildcraft - Alphine 55), putting the most of the above mentioned things into the bag and buying some toilet papers, I was packed on June 1^st. Since everything was set, went out to watch a movie and chose ”yeh jawani hai deewani”. Awesome timing, first half was completely about a trekking expedition in the Himalayas. The number of girls who came to the trip (in the movie) got my hopes high. With full of hopes, an extra full bag and 3 friends with mutual feelings, I reached Delhi on June 2^nd.

The idea of POWER

At this point of time, when I say violence, we visualize a women being tortured at some place in this world, and who holds the figure of the 23 year old girl who died in Delhi recently because she was raped. I have seen a lot of posts in facebook and twiter where people ask for different solutions.

I see this as a problem of thought, a problem of how power is perceived. Especially by men, power is perceived in a physical sense. The power is defined as the authority or control over someone else. But power is the ability to resolve, that most of the Indian women of my generation and my mother's generation live as an example of.

Women today don't need a strange men to come and abuse them, things start very locally. I know guys who have hit their girlfriends because he doesn't want her to have any male friend. Sorry, I would perceive possessiveness differently. I have heard of men, who have left their wives for other women and the society blames it on the lady.

This is a problem in the genes, in the society. The idea that male is more powerful of the two sexes comes from the thought that "if I hold her hand very strongly, she won't be able to move". Though a lot of us are protesting, call ourselves educated, live in a city, and think we are advanced in the way we think. I am afraid we are wrong. The ability to park the car in the first attempt, the ability to hold on to the cricket bat, the ability to stay at office without thinking about home, the ability to come back home late night without anyone's company, the ability to get married late, and a lots more is very wrongly perceived as power by men.

During school, my exam would finish at 12:30, I would be home by 1:15 and by then my home phone would have already received 2 calls from my mother, who is at work, asking how I did the exam (even though she knows how I would have) and still sticking to the work schedule at office, that is power. Recently she got her right hand fractured, but still she runs the home single handedly (quite literally), that is power. I know lady friends of mine, who have got married a little early in their life, have a career, manage family awesomely, unlike men who wait for a stable income and all random trips with friends. That is power.

Oh yes they do break down a lot (even at movies where an elephant named Ramu dies). If shouting FUUUU*K and banging something on the floor is to men, crying is to women, to vent their anger, pressure and frustration.

By the way things are going, the vision of the great Tamil Poet Bharathiyaar's for women is definitely blurred, but what he perceived about power is real.

The ability to stand up against what one feels wrong is power, the ability to balance and bring harmony is power, the ability to grow another human being inside one is power, the ability to see what their sons have become is power, the ability to raise a true man is POWER.  That is why in Sanskrit, Shakti is rightly named as 'to be able'.

FAKE YOU!

Your life is a beautiful gift, unique to yourself, that is why you will have to fake it to the world. Because the world expects you to be like somebody, somebody normal. The people in life compare yourself with someone else. No, I don't mean u r being compared to Kalams and Narayanamurthys, u are being compared to Mahesh and Suresh next door. With all due respect to Mahesh and Suresh, u might want to ask what is the whole point, but come on let's be practical, when u are running a rat race u don't expect yourself to be compared with Lions.

I have very rarely heard of a teacher, who comes to your desk, points at your answer paper and says "wow, that is a brilliant way of looking at the problem, it's ok that u have got a few concepts wrong but your approach gives a new dimension. Let's work on that after school hours, keep it going", I have more heard them saying "what have u written, it is totally not in sync with what is given in the text book, I am not surprised you failed". With big aims and aspirations and with less people who have the time to understand, U FAKE.

U FAKE school life hoping that people grow with age. U start working, the new place promises to be a little better, but yes, it's just a matter of time. Appraisal, money and promotions fakes you. I completely understand, you have to give it in to the fact that when result is not produced, the whole purpose of why someone hired u is gone. So u lend your ear  to all the meeting room gyans, where people say "look at that team, look at this chart, look at him, when we were like u... (where ur heart would plead to say "like me?? go take a walk, I am unique")" u align to the what they say, instead of "how can I stick to my way of doing things and produce their results". Sadly your definition of growing up doesn't match theirs.

U FAKE, with the hope that personal life is going to rock. U fall for someone, propose, they accept or reject,  either way u r FAKED. If accepted, U are expected to change ur shirt, the way u talk, the things u do, be like your 'someone's' friend's someone and after doing all that u hear "u are no more the same". U cross this barrier, go talk to your 'someone's' parents to asking for your someone's hand and they compare u with their aunt's in-law's cousin's someone. By this time u r totally faked. If rejected, that is an entirely different story.

U FAKE every phase with the hope that once u have cross that phase, the world will welcome you with open arms, hug u, kiss u and embarrass you, but all it does is FAKE YOU, right royally.

U FAKE yourself all the way to impress lot of people, important people, and end up being disappointed with yourself, FAKED UP.

Change is good, correction is good, improving is good, but if the world calls faking as changing, improving and correcting. FAKE YOU man, my life is a beautiful gift, unique, I define my life.

Svaramed at Auroville

Svaram is a place in the midst of a bamboo forest, created to discover music instruments out of everything that would bring out the feel of music in everybody independent of knowledge and training. Located inside Auroville makes it even more special.

The first time I heard about Svaram was when I took a random trip to Auroville explored the shop at the Auroville visitors centre, but then I dint know they had a musical research place. 2 years later, during my second marathon at Auroville, me and my friends took a casual bike ride inside Auroville and heard some drum beats. Moving towards the music, led us to svaram. The feel of Svaram is fantastic, the place is truly spiritual.

The place manifests independence and encourages talent and ideas.  Being a person who can play the percussions and having owned some of the small drums of svaram, I started playing the djembe, the best djembe I have ever played was still half painted. After playing for around 15mins, I realized I was only in the showroom opposite to the research place, where the real research music happens out of everything possible.

The first thing that caught my eyes was a LPG cylinders modified and hung around the place, the first one I played was set to mohanam ragam. Admiring that for some time, I fell for a huge African styled base drum. Looking from a distance, art work on the drum was fascinating, the size was by itself a beauty. The heavenly feel when you play the drum in confluence to the sound coming from the bamboo forest, make you feel like "I AM GOD". After a few of minutes of playing the drum, Prakash from the Svaram team joined me and we had an absolutely brilliant jamming session.

The marathon was the next day and it was shut down time for Svaram. I had a quick walk inside the place and when I was about to leave, "THAMBE" it was Karthik, he asked me where I am staying and for how long, and asked me to play with them at the marathon tomorrow. People of Svaram team up at different places along the trail of the marathon, with the instruments to encourage runners, believe me it works awesome on your run, and when you are going to join the team playing with them,it works even better. I joined the Svaram team near the finish line, after I finished my run. Initially we performed as a group and the group welcomed a stranger drummer in me. Myself and Prakash continued our jamming sessions, joined by kids and lady dancers.

I would personally recommend everybody interested in music to visit Svaram, and when  you are going call me, 2hours was not enough . People can also work hand-in-hand with Svaram and help them in their research. Svaram also helps to research on one's music ideas.

One could see every musical instrument that Sivamani uses with his drum kits or probably even more at Svaram, but the feeling of playing them cannot be comprehended by just reading this. If you really are acumen about this idea, you need to be there.

Music must release oneself from the mundane thought and Svaram does it perfectly well.

written for http://www.deccanchronicle.com/tabloid/potpouri/music-and-innovation-swaram-028

when i speak at a graduation

After watching the famous Jobs graduation day speech at Stanford, I imagined myself going in front of my school's 12th pass outs  some day and say 'what follows' (assuming that the trend continuous that majority are still getting into a engineering college).

When u get to college, there are three things you are going to experience. New people, New ideologies and New you.

NEWPEOPLE:

The first day you go to college, things will be very different, different language, different style, different mentalities, different size, so different in size that you would probably end up getting ragged by your own class mate, and most importantly different outlook, so different that the girl whom you know for the past 4 years turns her face away 'heart break on the first day of college' get used to it, u will encounter more of this.

To girls: u ll be looked at as if u r a European tourist entering the rural India, with a WOW. Enjoy the respect, don't do too much, who knows u might not even be worth it and the realization might not be far away.

Dai boys: the lab, the mess hall, lab coat, daily color dress, bikes, girls, everything will look equally attractive, BEWARE. Labs, there are lots u ll have to learn outside these four walls and a few machines get out as early as possible. Mess hall, the pouch - the more you eat, the merrier, sleepier and bigger u get. Color dress, the maximum u can buy is 10 pairs of trousers and shirts and u definitely know the rest. Bikes, with all due respect, petrolku daily unga appa-na kaasu kuduppan. The girls, its scientifically proven that girls get prettier at college and the guys get stupid, they are still working on the relativity (for the first part of the research, it was a no girl team. A girl came in as an intern, and they are still working on the research).

Guys and girls getting into gender biased colleges, I have nothing to say them except "SMART MOVE", if u know what I mean.

NEW IDEOLOGIES:

 Everyday might seem like 'nothing big has happened', but the day before the exam believe me, IT IS GOING TO BE REALLY BIG. Even and odd semesters which will be synonyms for cultural semester and symposium semester. U ll have a lot of things to do but most importantly, do something new, do what u want.

It's ok if u don't focus, it's ok if u don't have clarity, it's ok if u are not going to get better grades, its ok if to hate somebody, it's ok to love more than 1, it's ok to raise a finger at your professor and say "can I go to toilet". Participate in competitions and department clashes, get face to face with a professor, talk to HOD and explain why u are better than him, get on your knees for a girl, get into a fight for your friend even when u know that he is wrong, celebrate that with a drink together, buy a phone for 15000 and get confused about whether to recharge it for 20 or 30, Go to new places, meet new people, treat them with arrogance, disagree with them with respect. Stand on top of the world and say to yourself " i have a lots left to experience in the bledy world and I am loving it".

NEW U:

GET OUT AND ENJOY. DON'T BOTHER ABOUT THE NEW YOU, HE CAN TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF.

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go. What follows you is always YOU".

P.S.: if any Teacher, Principal and Head of institutions is reading this, we can customize this, no problem at all. :-)

special CLASS ROOM

There was a place in the last row, where an 11th class boy used to sit. To his left it was the girls’ row, ok let’s not touch the nice part now, and let’s go to the other side. Everyone on his right seemed to be different. The guy who looks always sleepy, the guy who removes his shoes and sits folded legs, the guy to whom different things were interesting at different times, the guy who drives his own car to school, the guy who could wake up at 3AM to watch Ranji trophy, and many more.

But there was this point when all of them were scaled on the same parameters, MARKS. Marks were used to understand how good one would fair in his life. Probably then he dint realize that Marks is just made by some dumb heads, because they couldn’t see the brighter side of everybody and everybody were special, and what they do can’t be done by others.

The guys who scored better were considered bright, well to do in life. The guys who scored a little lesser where probably the hooligans, the people who have to attend special class during the evening to learn the morning lessons again, to do better in life.

Like many schools, his school didn’t understand, it’s not all about marks. The special classes they conducted were more de-motivating than the 3/100 he scored in biology. He probably escaped the illusion of marks, but there were a lot of his friends who got stuck with the illusion.

Though, Today he agrees to the fact that, even the little English he knows is because of the teachers who taught him ‘A for Apple’, it remains true that instead of asking him to read English newspaper daily so that he can get 8/10 instead of 6/10 in an essay, if she could have made it more interesting and shown the true value, he would probably be writing the same article in a better way for a newspaper and the same could have been read at the UNICEF. Even though he is coping to move on, he still feels sad about how many people are still feeling defeated because of being forced to play the game they didn't even want to.

Classrooms were fun, but the Special class-rooms were such a pain. All those whom he competed weren't there, left only to be satisfied with the increase in the probability of winning, making even probability less fun.

PASSION

Being online and for almost half of the day, sometimes doing nothing and the other times doing something, I have come across many inspiring speeches and examples on the passion but something that I saw recently, blew my mind of.

It was lazy weekday evening, where after a heavy dose of freshly cooked, steaming hot ven pongal, mixed with ginger and topped with cashews giving it a perfectly balanced taste of sweet, soar and hotness, and thenga chutney mixed with coriander leaves and pepper seeds, going as the best side-dish pongal can ever imagine for itself, I was sitting in front of the TV, watching MasterChef Australia.

This episode was like any other episode, a special guest walking in, people given some difficult task in a short span of time and cooking and the judges tasting them, it was the day of elimination and there were 4 on the hot seat, Until before the final judgment, Adam, a participant stood up and said “I don’t know whether I will be going home today, but I do know that all the other people who are here are here because cooking is their passion. I came here to do something out of routine. Being in this competition for closed to 10 weeks now has made me a better cook, has given me some great friends, and has also made me realize that, even though I love cooking, my passions is what I am currently doing, my diving business. So I don’t want to go back home (winning or losing) taking somebody’s dream, I am going back to my passion and all the best to the rest, do what your heart says”.

Even though people may claim that this is a reality show and all such dramas are bound to happen, this has re-written my definition for PASSION.

Definition!?!?!?!?!

The world is so similar yet so different because of two reasons, one definition of things and number two because of people definition of definition itself.
Webster says definition is “Defining or being defined” now let me try to compete with Mr.Webster.

Definition to conservative person is… before that, conservative to one means being cautious, to the other it means being calculative and the rest it means what it means to them. So eventually a conservative person would probably mean definition as ‘how he defines’.

Definition to a environmentalist is… but ya first definition of environmentalist,(1) a person who does green business, (2) a person who fights for the conservation of environment or to put it better conservative environmentalist (for the definition on conservative, go back a few lines) and (3)by the rest he may be defined as a person who is gonna make big money in 5years. Anyways an environmetalist would define definiton with “green” as prefix or post fix to everything.

Definition to a musician is… but asusual, music is some means peace, to some means fun and loud, to others it means something done by musicians, to others it means the songs that come in MTV. Definition may be defined as “adding music to meanings” by musicians.

To Intellects, but lets first define intelligence, for people like many it is something that’s there is others and they look at it WOW!!! For a very few, its is something that’s like their twin living in the samebody, sharing the soul. Obviously intellects define definition like what I have defined.

Comparing the various above conclusions with Webster, he was right, very right. Definition means Definition. So the competition, I had with webster can be defined in two ways, I lost it or I made him win it better.

ALONE...

Feelings are sometimes best expressed though words. Oops.. what do I do when I don’t find the right words… what if words get jumbled, what if I silence is preferred, what if there are lot of other things to do than sit and put down the words, what if I don’t get a pen, what if ….. if… if… I GET STUCK LIKE THIS.

I don’t know, I seriously don’t know, at these times, I prefer silence, having the hope that the same thought ll come down again someday, I go somewhere and spend some time alone.

Being alone is awesome. Remember alone is not solitude.

Alone is a time when u share your best version with yourself.

I have travelled alone; met new people did some of the craziest things. I have spent time alone on my house terrace and jus thinking what to think. I have spent time alone in a new place, just listening to people talk. I have spent time alone, when I was all laughing and making fun. I have spent time alone sitting in front seat of a car, when my close friends were sitting in the rear side. I have spent time alone, when I was angry... I have spent time alone, when I was sad and happy… I have spent time alone thinking, I have spent time alone, playing my instrument, I have spent time alone, doing nothing and everything.

When I was alone, I realized what I wanted in Life, when I was alone, I have understood a few things about things I did and dint understand previously, when I am alone I understand people and the times I miss.

I have been alone, when I was least alone!!! Loving been alone, I have been falling in love with the person I am alone with.

I have answered all the “what if” questions being alone, I don’t know why I am writing this, but what if I was alone, writing this time.

ASSUME

Assume that assumption will be something quite cool, until u read this.
Assumption makes things easy, for example people initially people thought (oops sorry), assumed earth was flat. It was easy enough to understand how we don’t fall.

Assume: Girls run behind guys’ wall posts and photo on facebook. First few days will be like “awesome, look at my number of notification”, but then after a few days u suddenly, find that all your photos and wall posts are commented by people whom u don’t even know, your notification list touches 3digits, if u are out of facebook for 2 days.

Assume: the girl u proposed to, immediately accepts. WOW. But when u go out, she stares at other guys as if the one sitting in front of her is a donkey.

Assume: u go to a movie and the heroine’s father accepts her love with his maid’s son, who is studying in the same college. Your movie ll be over even before the popcorn.

Assume: your best friend stays as close to you even after he has fallen for a girl, finished end of girl friend story.

The creative individual has the capacity to free himself from the web of social pressures in which the rest of us are caught. He is capable of questioning the assumptions that the rest of us accept. Assume that I said this.

Assume everybody were the same, assume U topped the class in 12th, assume U dint join the college U joined, assume u dint meet the people u met, assume u dint fall in love with your girl, assume mom does nt wake up every day, assume u never fought with your sibling, is like saying assume U WERE NOT U & NOTHING U KNOW IS TRUE.

Assumption makes a issue look perfect but they don’t give solutions, assumption made things look more beautiful but u did miss the real beauty, assumptions make u and me a BEEP…

maybe that’s why it sounds like A**-U-ME…

Dear friend

Hey mate,
its been long since I wrote to u. how are u. I am doing good. My work is challenging. I hope u are also doing good. And ya money has brought in a few things (bledy materialistic world) closer, everything from an evening snack to the vehicle I drive has got costlier, my weekends are celebrated like festivals.

But with the best things around I don’t feel complete. Ya ya, money can bring some happiness and crying in a BMW is better than on a cycle, but those moments don’t become “I wanna RELIVE them”. I have a lot of money to spend, but my question is whom do I share it with, when u are not around. Riding on a bike at 12 midnight is fun, but do u remember those days when we used to cycle down home at 1 in the noon after a day full of chemistry, do u have an adjective to express that. It was simple and beautiful when the life biggest question was “whats the most important question for tomoro’s test??”. And the best lunch was my ‘thayir sadham’ with your ‘vendakai’.

The people I meet today are fun, I can hang out with them, but I don’t feel all the same. People don’t come along without an ‘I expect this from U’ and I go don’t without a ‘ya, but only if do this for me’ tag.

I still remember celebrating your birthday in your house, with a 1Kg cake for 20 people and after cutting the cake playing basket ball with a foot ball. And now I don’t even get to call u at 00:00 accurately cos u live in a different time zone. Your birthday ll be the most expected day of the year and if your birthdays falls on a free period day, that calls for more excitement.

The days which knew no EGO, the fights which were mostly for, who is taking that extra chocolate, the timings which was 9 to 3:45, when weekends were for not to spend the complete day with u, when the chairs which were wooden with u me and our close buddies, when the evening snacks was 2 samosas divided by 5, when the vehicles were non-polluting. And the time when I got to be me always.

I MISS U MATE.

Loving (past continuous, 5TH standard English) friend,

PS: Crying in a BWM is better than a cycle, but nothing can even come close to your shoulders. I promise to spend time with u on your next birthday (buying a gift for Rs50 was easier than finding time in this bledy busy world).

I HOPE I NEVER GET TO WRITE THIS LETTER.

SMILEY ;-)

:-0, , ;-(, : ‘, :-P etc etc… wow these SMILEYs… girls call them cute, boys call them to girls call them cute. They tell us a lot about our self. They are so cool at times, u don’t need to explain beyond a few symbols. If during the beginning of book writing, full stops and punctuations made people understand English better. Now writing on facebook is made easier by smileys, cos today English is not jus about Shakespeare and Augustan, its about u and me. Imagine what ll the status “oh my god” mean. A smiley with it would better.

But these smileys tell us a lot than jus about the language, but the purpose of the language, COMMUNICATION.

We text more, we type talk more, we facebook more than we talk. May be that’s why we are polite and all sweet when it comes to digital talking.

Have we ever thought “am I talking the same way I text…? Do I sound as good as my msg sounds? Do I talk the same way my facebook wall talks to a new friend.”
The way I see it, answer is no…

1) Have we ever smiled back at a colleague while travelling in the same lift crossing 5 floors?
2) Have we ever smiled back at a stranger walking on the road?
3) Have we ever addressed a person next to my friend saying “@X: ---------- “or atleast a Hi?
4) Have we ever appreciated without gender bias ;-)?
5) Have we ever tried to make more friends, REALLY?

People are cool when they text, awesome when on face book, brilliant when chatting... but we are mass and much more when we smile (no disrespect to mass).

LET THE SMILES BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GREENERY

Ah, the word green. This so much reminds me of the global warming, climate change, the Kyoto, the tag which people are giving to make their business better, etc, etc.. But more than all this green reminds me of human mind. THE GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE. It's greener because you're seeing it at a shallower angle. That effectively means you see more grass and less dirt than when you look straight down…

People may feel green about many things… LIKE

“When I was in primary school, I enjoyed life very much, all I had to study was ‘A’ for apple or airplane and highest level of mathematics was division, all teachers were kind to me, my parents gave higher priority to my sleep than the home work ” GREENERY 1

“My secondary school days were awesome, relatives used to buy sweets when they come home, the toughest and biggest question about life was ‘find x’, mornings were about should I take the bus or share auto, evenings were about hindi tuition or maths tuition, ll my dad get me a new cycle at least for this birthday?” GREENERY 2

“My high school life was the best days of my life. Met some of the best friends who I never thought ll make such a huge difference in my life, had great teachers, having fun meant a movie once every month and cycle race, winning and losing was about comparing with your best friends, toughest question to answer was ‘why are u up so late or why are u late home’ ” GREENERY 3

“College days, wow they were like _________ (fill in with some +ve adjective) getting up morning 6 to catch a bus at 6:30, semester exams, meeting HOD, find a matching shirt for the pant, getting into the college’s students clubs were really big things to do, first day first show, a cell phone, 50Rs more to top up, a ‘HI’ reply back from fav girl next class, ALL PASS topped the wish list, finding time to go through the final sem projects during the busy outings, paper presentations, etc etc ” GREENERY 4

“My first job, my life a bachelor, my that, my this…“ GREENERY goes greener

Every phase of the life becomes a paradox, when a particular phase is part of the past we see the best days and when it’s part of the future we work towards it anticipating it and imagining how cool it would be. We like the future, which could possibly be the present one day; we love the past which was once the present.

We get better every day, working towards the future and living with the memories of the past, making every moment as memorable as possible and going green…

I FIGHT

I get up and I sleep and in between that I fight. I fight so hard that even in my dreams I fight.

Fight is the way of life. But I am not a terrorist or an activist or a boxer… I am normal person who eats, travels, sleeps, works, meets, celebrates, enys, egos, and everything U do. But my fights are mostly like intrinsic. U won’t realize I fight because it’s the way life is and it’s probably the way everybody in and around us live.

Morning I get up fight with my tooth paste tube to squeeze the tooth paste out, fight with the unseen politicians and advertisements through the news paper, take a knife poke it hard and cut it hard and make a vegetable salad, pack the veg fight in a box to bury it down under later.

Twist the lace, stamp the shoes and kick the bike still fighting, move from home to work or where ever. Fight for petrol and give a better fight for FREE AIR. Move on road, overtake an opponent on the road, dogged by another, fighting with my music player to play a better song drive on and reach. Fight for the lift or stairs, fight for work and when I get it, fight not to finish it.

Fight for a cinema ticket, fight for traffic free road, fight my own rules, fight my anger fight my laughter, fighting the sun and rain when they are around giving signs of spoiling the day, fighting for my own limits, fighting for Independence, fighting for justice, fighting for and with my friends, fighting for NO WAR, fight for a new world still fighting myself not to change, fighting & fighting.

I fight aggressively, I fight requesting, I fight bad and good, I fight fiercely. I fight tensely, calmly, handsomely, ugly, happily, sadly. Getting better day by day and still needing a lot more experience.

Fighting for me, with me, against me, by me and all this in my own style.
And now I gotta fight to publicize this blog and u have to fight and like this.

The world is a fine place and worth fighting for. Happy fighting, happy living.

INDIA TODAY

We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made!"
- Albert Einstein (Theoretical Physicist, Germany)

And this is just a small fraction of an example of what great people think of INDIA’s capability. We are the people who taught the world how to count, how to do a surgery, who invented wireless communication. And started all the bleedy carp invention, that the rest of the world in completing today. The matter of concern here is why the country with so much intelligence and power is not able to organize an international sports event today.

The freedom struggle like no other has seen, the freedom fighter like no other country has seen.

But today, imagine what a billion of us do. Not obey traffic rules, accept and appreciate bribe, spit in public, not doing something what we believe in, not actually know what we believe in, believe in something just for the sake of it, ill treat a person based on his believes, not respect all people equally, discriminate a person based on the job he is doing, believe that god is directly proportional to caste. India is today a place where a person believes in fate, super power and etc more than himself.
But forgets to enjoy what he has got, compares his life with the western life. Thinks low of himself and his country.
Anything wrong that happens in this country, we say “that’s ok, its India and this is how it ll be”. And immediately compare it with so called better countries. But fail to understand ite we who make this country, without us this is just another geographical.

"If there is one place on the face of earth where all the dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India!" but today the problem is we all dream about not being an Indian. We dream individually, we dream materialistically, our dreams contradict.

PAST CONTINOUS

A person who lives his childhood for his entire life, is the most matured of all…

I have a habit of searching and collecting some of the good Environmental Quotes, and the best I have come up with so far is “save earth because it is the only planet where we get chocolates”.

Wow, childhood has always been awesome, not because only then i could eat chocolates where ever I want, not because only then everybody around me took maximum care of me, not because I had least home work, not because my class mates wore the similar uniform, not because i have countless reasons to say… its all because whenever I think of all this, I feel I am the happiest Person in the whole world…

Hey wait, why did I not say “happiest child or happiest man”?? The world wanted (wants) me to grow, dint they know growing old is dangerous?? I don’t know…
Sitting back on the chair, scratching my beard and looking back... I can see that things have changed, but the way they happen haven’t.
My mom used to run around me with the tinniest bowl with half filled food, making crows sing and cows drum to that song, just to make me eat one more spoon. But now with different varieties waiting on that huge dinning table everyday, waiting to be heated up whenever I am ready has changed the food, but my mom’s wait, the affection and care has never changed.

When I grew up a little more, my younger brother became the favorite of all those who celebrated me till then, the fights and plays (the cricket bat had a prominent role in both the actions), the quarrels, the possessions and the things we did were same. But now taking different paths, becoming BIGGER, things we have in common has changed, but the support and the feeling of MY BROTHER has not.

When I grew a little more, when I started to go out with friends, I used to sneak out my dad’s watch and shoes when I go out, but now the watch and shoes has become car and credit card, but the sneaking out and getting caught later hasn’t changed. Recently when my dad and I were out, we had to cross the road, my dad caught hold of my finger tightly and said “careful careful” only then I realized its been very long since we crossed the road together. Me blindly following what my dad has changed. But the love, support, supervision and MY HERO has not changed.

Friends: the people whom I used to meet daily and at the same place discussing everything from the cricket match’s first ball to the last ball, everything from the way I bet my brother in the previous night fight… sharing a lot more than pen, pencil and few lunch boxes... giving them a huge “bye BYEEEEE” every day, knowing that we are gonna meet at the same place within 24hrs. But now living together at different parts of the world, doing different things, I meet them at face book, knowing what they do from their status messages, not having much difficulty in counting how many common friends we have, putting photos everyday and waiting to hear their voice. Things have changed, but the friendship, the shoulder on which I cried and the souls which I loved, hasn’t changed.

Report cards have become mark sheets and reports, but the marks, NEVER change…
Schools have become universities, but the way we studied, NEVER change…
Teachers have become bosses, but the way we imitate them, NEVER change…

The past of being a child continues, it’s in our hands whether we use the Past Continuous to indicate a stronger action AT THE PRESENT.

Revisiting those childhood days is bliss, but living the same way is LIFE. I LIVE.